21st October 2010
Today is my birthday. Yes! It’s my birthday. This exclamation mark is not of extreme contentment, but displeasure and shock. It’s my birthday and I’m not happy. The day that makes one happy in absolute terms, that is, when one isn’t happy not because others are happy, is not working out for me. I don’t know but this is it. It hasn’t been like that some 365 days ago. What I’m experiencing is a revolution in my brain – a social change.
It would seem a cliché if I say that things have taken a ‘U’ turn. Technically, it’s an ‘O’ turn for me: I’m back to where I started – a little boy born in some odd corner of the world where he don’t know anyone, not even his parents, let alone friends. This mental revolution has me at its epicenter with emotional outbursts shattering the foundation of my “re-socialisation”.
Maybe, it’s because I’ve decided to make things this way. It’s not the time to blame anyone and pin-point anyone.
The end is inevitable. It has to come sometime or the other. Realising the ends and living under this definition has become synonymous with my current life-style. In between the land and the sky, I find myself trapped. It’s not that I’ve found myself trapped, it’s because out of crores I’ve felt that I’ve been trapped. One day I shall merge in the land and reach the sky. It’s a dreadlock.
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